Do your kids fight?

Do your kids fight like this too?

Mine were at it again.
One said something, the other started throwing… tissues, thankfully, not anything worse.

And I felt it immediately.
That rush in my chest. That “make this stop right now” feeling.

For a second, I almost jumped in the way I used to.

But instead, I paused and asked myself something I often ask clients:

Is anyone actually in danger?

I looked again.
No one was going to get hurt.
It was loud, annoying… but not dangerous.

That pause gave me just enough space to notice what was happening in me.

My heart was racing.
I was frustrated.
But underneath that, I was scared.

Scared they’ll never grow out of this.
Scared I’m doing something wrong.
Even a little embarrassed.

And just naming that — quietly, to myself — took the edge off.

From there, I could actually think about what to do next, instead of just reacting.

If you’re a mom, you know how fast these moments escalate.

And if you’re a clinician, you’ve probably taught this exact pause to others.

But in real life, in your own kitchen, it’s a whole different story.

That small pause won’t make your kids stop fighting.

But it can change what you do next.

And that’s where things start to shift.